Top Twelve:

Ok guys...since you all know how much I LOVE music, esp. new artists. I decided I would list my top twelve (it was ten, but I couldn't leave some of these folks out) favorite songs RIGHT NOW (like this very moment...these can vary depending on mood, attitude, and so on...you get my point)

In no particular order...

1. Sleeping with the lights on- Teitur
2. Ever After You- The Gabe Dixon Band
3. A Home- Maia Sharp
4. Feels Just Like It Should- Jamiroquia
5. Lately- David Gray
6. Fix You- Coldplay (NO DUH!)
7. Outsider- The Daylights
8. Hide and Seek- Imogen Heap
9. It's the Night Time- Josh Rouse
10. Don't Get Comfortable- Brandon Heath
11. Like the Last Time- Matt Wertz
12. You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go- Madeleine Peyroux

wow...two days in a row..Just call me butter cause I'm on roll!! ha!

Back to reality.

Here i am again. I've found myself in my favorite little local coffee shop listening to my "coffee shop" mix on itunes, that consists of my favorites, such as david gray, ryan adamas, david mead, coldplay, counting crows...all the greats. It's raining outside and on days like today I can't help but let my thoughts wander.

I've been getting slack from some of you about how my blogs leave me too exposed to the world wide web. So I could just post some BS about how life is, or I could get real and tell you whats really going on.

I'm confused, content, loving, cozy, deeply thinking, missing someone, joyful, sad, at ease, peaceful, wondering, hungry, prideful, jealous, healing, seeking, wanting, and growing up. As I look over the adjectives that I just listed I kinda wonder how I could be all those things at once, but I am. And I am where I am. And I like it and I don't all at the same time. So that's where I am today.

Thanks for letting me get my feelings out through a stupid blog. It's some type of release for me.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite lines from a song, ever...

"there's things I remember, there's things i forget, i miss you i guess that i should..."

Season of discovery

So, I just read John's blog about jackopierce and I can't stop crying. Seriously, it's uncontrolable. So I'm asking myself the question of "why did that hit so close to home?" Is it because I miss my friends? Is it because I'm just being a stupid girl on emotional overload? Is it because sometimes you just wish you could step back in time to be able to appreciate the sweet pureness of a moment?

There is nothing like being with good friends, who know you, and love you, and challenge you to live a life worthy of the calling! I'm learning a lot about "the calling." I'm actually trying to figure out what "the calling" is all about. Strange enough, I went to the ordination of my good friend and boss, Michael Kelley. When he got up to speak about his calling he said, when he does what he has been called to do he feels as if God stands up and says "now this is what I had in mind when I created you." What a beautiful thought and a beautiful place for him to be. Maybe I am on emotional overload because when he said that tears began streaming down my face, and his, and practically every other person in the room. But there's something about that statement that hit the core of me. Something within my spirit rose up and said "surrender." Surrender what I thought I had in mind to what He has in mind. Even though what I've had in mind is good and worthy it is not what He had in mind. I trust Him to lead me through this time, this season of discovery.

I miss you, dear friends! I miss the not having to explain "my story". I miss just getting to "be." And it's because of you and your love for Him that overflowed that I am where I am now and I'm doing what I'm doing and I'm entering this new exciting season!

Much love and peace...

leland.

I'm Amy....

Dear lele~ I love you. I think you are the best thing since sliced bread. Thank you for hanging out with me on Thursday nights at 7 to watch the oc. You make me smile:) I've never met anyone like you. You have such a heart for people and I believe God was showing off when He made you! You are truly amazing and I consider it a honor to call you my friend. I can't believe we've only known each other a month.. TODAY! AHH...All the memories! Late night sonic trips, Mission "save lele from the football game", Singing gangstaz paradise,rollerblading in Wal-mart, plunging your toilet.. gross, 5 o'clock conversations on IM, late night convos, Christmas in September, it's a grind, facebook, reading psalms, being the referee for kelsey vs. amy fights, boy talks, refuge in the park, writing/singing songs in my car, the 20 question game, and SOOOOO many more to come! (Like Christmas in New York city!!) Love, Amy

"Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad..."

So tonight my friend Amy and I decided we'd start Christmas early. We dressed up in our sweaters, scarves, drank gingerbread chai's (Christmas in a cup) and watched "Elf"!! It was an amazing night!!! We contemplated going to find a Christmas tree and putting it up....

So here is a picture of our fun night of pre-Christmas cheer!! Hope you enjoy....

All you need is love.

So today I was talking with one of my favorite people in the whole world. And we were talking about love. Mainly loving people, and wanting to genuinely LOVE them!

As of lately, I've felt fake in my love. I felt like in some form or fashion I've been loving people, but it's been a fake love. A love that doesn't come from my love for Him, but for a need to impress. Impress who? I'm not sure. Maybe just to impress myself. Maybe it's a way to make me feel better about myself. Another good deed to check off the list..."love people...Check...whew...i feel much better about myself now." I mean what's with that?!?!

As I was conversing with my very wise friend, he told me that genuine love for people overflows from an intimate love of Father. As I left the conversation on that thought, I of course went for a ride in the car. In my ride, I was talking with Father. And I think just like with everything it starts with faith. Faith in believing that He is who He says He is. And that if our desires match up with Him then He is more than willing to overflow with love through us. He wants to love His people! He DOES love His people! And He wants to use us, His children, to love one another. It seems like the simplest thing that I learned when I had to have been about four. But "love one another." That's just it! He says but the greatest of these is love! LOVE!

I want to love people. I want my love for Him to permeate from my chore to every inch of me! I want people to see His love in my eyes, in my touch, in my laugh, in my tears! I want people to know of His love more than anything else! And I want to be broken for them! Broken from genuine love! He first loved us! And as I think about the cross of Christ, I think of how His body was broken for us out of love for the Father. In the same way I want to imitate Him in my love.

I'm still learning everyday the simplest of things. But I know, above all else LOVE! Because they will know we are His by the way that we love.